Creating your life through conscious awareness of choice

Your Life Is A Contractual Agreement With God

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Have you ever wondered about the people in your life, especially those, who to put it mildly, you can’t abide to be around or being around them drives you to drink? We make agreements with other souls, who are members of what is called our soul cluster and we are members of theirs. The idea is that we’ll support each other to attain our highest soul growth, by what appears to be, any means necessary. We are all in this dimension under a spiritual contract. And it’s a contract of choice that has been made of our choosing with the assistance of God and our celestial helpers. This contractual agreement, we make prior to incarnating or being born into this life. Our agreement is binding. It’s a contract!!!! We have created it for our soul growth, which ultimately is achieve by fulfilling our predestine life’s purpose.
Our agreements are based on the mutual understanding that the relationship is ultimately about our personal and individual soul growth. We are here for our own life/soul experiences and much like a supporting cast in a movie, we are also here, should we choose to support others in having theirs and allow them to support us in having ours. Today’s show is to bring into your awareness two points;

1. We have chosen the life that we are living, yet even within that paradigm we are governed by the Universal Law of Freewill or Choice.
2. Some of the worst experience that you have had with people, places and things can mean that they are the closest to you in spirit and catapulting you forward on your journey.

Join me, Dr. Wendy Dearborne choice expert and coach and Olivia Lashley expression coach and artist as we look at why people, places and things show up in your life.

Written by Dr Wendy Dearborne

March 22, 2016 at 7:31 am

Posted in Coaching4coaches

Self-Talk With Purpose

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Your mind can and will runaway with you.  Sometimes running so far and fast that you become totally lost not remembering where you were going or knowing where you have ended up. And to your consternation you then spend more time trying to figure out, “how did I get here?”  Silently, to your external world, yet in full stereo in your internal world you are constantly, imagining, picturing, chatting, arguing, screaming, shouting, crying, pausing, laughing, playing, acting and talking back.  Yeah, that’s right, talking back to yourself.  You do this 24/7 365 days a year.

As you begin to hone your conscious ability to “self-talk with purpose” the runaway chatter, which may appear to be random has to be brought under conscious direction.   Self talk with conscious purpose is just that.  A consciously directed inner conversation.

Attractioners, let’s be clear about what I’m saying.  Conscious self-talk with purpose isn’t about squashing your innate ability for your mind to roam and run free.  Sometimes running so far and fast that you become totally lost, not remembering where you were going or knowing where you have ended up, is what needs to and must happen.

Q: But didn’t you just say I need to control my inner talk?
A: Umm, No.  I said you must have consciously directed inner conversations.

You would never be able to consciously control ALL of your inner conversations.  Why? Primarily, because part of the self-talk process is initiated and originates out of your imagination, which is fueled by insights and your intuition.   As I have shared with you before, insights like intuition is accurate information attained from sources unknown.

Q: How do I consciously direct my self-talk?
A: It’s not so much how, it’s a case of what you will need to do

Self-talk with purpose is a consciously directed conversation that is designed to bring you clarity.  Once you have clarity you can then make conscious choices that are in your best interest which tell self the best way to proceed.

When engaged in a consciously directed inner conversation your imagination will be providing you insights and intuits.  And because you are focused on a specific concept you are more open and receptive to the energetic streams of consciousness that supports you in finding answers.

What To Do?

Self-talk with a purpose is a consciously guided conversation about a specific subject that uses a series of intrinsic forward momentum questions.  See the Golden Questions PDF. You focus on one concept or situation at a time.

  1. Tell yourself audibly or silently that you are going to discuss ____________  you fill in the blank.  Be decisive.
  2. Tell yourself this conversation is about you and only you. Be firm in asserting that you know that your thoughts and feelings are your own. It’s important to understand that any conversation you have can only be about you, because you really don’t know what someone else is really thinking.  Heck, most of the time it’s a struggle to know what you’re thinking!
  3. Ask yourself audibly and silently, “What am I wanting to do with______________you fill in the blank.” What situation in your life do you need to talk about and find clarity and or a resolution on?
  4. Now, if you find yourself answering your questions with “I don’t know what I want to do about my financial situation or buying a new car etc!” Then change the line of questioning.
  5. Ask self “what am I wanting to feel or see happening?” If your answer is something like, “I want the pain to go away or I just want to be happy,” then dig a little deeper and explore what that means to you by engaging your five senses.
  6. Ask self what it feels like, looks like, sounds like, tastes like, smells like to be pain free or in a new car or home?
  7. If you find that you are getting bogged down with, “it’s my duty as the eldest child to ___________ you fill in the blank,” be assertive by saying to yourself, “I am choosing to put duty aside for the moment, knowing I can come back to it at anytime.” Then ask yourself the golden questions again.
  8. Be honest and authentic with your answers. No one but you and the Divine are in this conversation.  Now is YOUR time to speak YOUR truth because the things that you manifest in life are based on your answers and your belief in those answers.
  9. Don’t judge yourself. Don’t use this time to critique yourself and others.  Talk to yourself in a way in which you want to be spoken to by the people in your world.
  10. If you find that you are going off on tangents and become totally lost, not remembering where you were going or knowing where you have ended up, that’s okay. Remember your mind running away with you is a natural process. Consciously directed self-talk isn’t.  And much like a muscle that you are trying to tone it will take practice.  When you realize you have gone down a rabbit hole simply go back to the answers you gave to the golden question.  Pick it back up from there.
  11. Keep the conversation going by asking intrinsic questions based upon your authentic answers until you find a resolution or you feel a softening in your attitude or you experience a revelation. Only you will know what this is and what if feels like or looks like or sounds like and or tastes and smells like.
  12. Tell yourself thank you for taking the time to talk with me.

You can write, record or video tape your self-talk consciously directed conversation or simply do it your head.  Whichever way you choose to talk to yourself is the right way for you.  I do suggest that when you come to a resolution or find that clarity or experience and ah ha moment, you write it down in your personal growth journal, your hour of power file or Laws of Attraction In Action folder.

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Written by Dr Wendy Dearborne

January 29, 2017 at 1:48 am

Posted in Coaching4coaches

Free Life Coaching: Getting Ready For 2017 & Beyond

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What do you want to happen for you in 2017?  It’s time to dust your old dreams off, rekindle your passion, create a plan and get in action.  Many people never realize their dreams or tap into their fullest potential, because they don’t know what to do.  They look at the end result in all its glory and simply become overwhelmed or underwhelmed.  Both feelings lead to a kind of paralysis that ends up in getting nothing done.  One week rolls into two which rolls into four and the next thing you know, it’s December 31st and you haven’t done a thing other than wish for the thing you want.  Whether it’s getting in shape, remodeling your home, going into therapy, learning a new language, becoming more spiritual, whatever it is that you want to manifest you’ll need a plan.

Also to support you in this process I’ll be conducting live coaching session on Facebook beginning December 1st 2016 @ 9:00am PST To participate in this live coaching event join the FB group The Laws of Attraction In Action.

When: Thursday Dec 1st @ 9:00am
Where: Inside the Facebook Group: The Laws of Attraction In Action.  Click this link:
Time: 9:00am – 9:30am PST.  (12:00pm -12:30pm EST. 5:00pm -5:30pm GMT)
Requirement: Group membership
Duration: 4 weeks with a bonus week
Attendance: Download 6 worksheets we’ll be using
Unable to attend live: Watch weekly replay:  Where: Pinned at the top of the group page

1)  Choice making equation
2)  S.W.O.T
3)  Simple breathing technique
4)  Contrasts & Parallels  (wants)
5)  Creating your year
6)  The Golden Question

#thelawsofattractioninaction #choiceexpert #itsmylifemychoice #choices #attractioners #entrepreneur #womeninbusiness

Written by Dr Wendy Dearborne

December 1, 2016 at 1:34 am

Get Off Your Mental Carousel And Start Living

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It’s time to get off your mental carousel and start living your life. Going around and around and around in circles is doing nothing for you other than making you dizzy. You’ll rehash the same things over and over again. The same joy’s, the same pains, the same successes and the same resentments caused by the same people in the same decaying dreams. Free yourself! Let go of things that no longer bring you joy or you bring them joy. Just let it go. The first step is to stop your mental carousel, then get off and begin creating the life you want to live.
It’s Monday Let It Go!
Find me on:
Facebook group:  The Laws of Attraction:
Blog Talk Radio Show:  My Life My Choice:  Wednesday 1:00pm PST

Written by Dr Wendy Dearborne

February 29, 2016 at 7:33 am

Posted in Coaching4coaches

Did You Hear When God Spoke Directly To You?

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Click the link to join live or call in 646-727-2759
Do you hear when God speaks directly to you? Are you missing divine opportunities to create the life that you have asked for? You know that seemingly random thought that popped into your mind? You know the one that you pooh poohed!? Well that was your divine message. It was God/The Universe answering your question on how you can efficiently and expediently make money, find your soul mate, get healthier, start a business, build a foundation, lose weight etc, and be of service to the world at the same time. That was your co-created opportunity being presented to you. And you missed it! So, now what you gonna do?
Join me Dr. Wendy Dearborne choice expert and Olivia Lashley expression coach and artist as we explore you, the Universal Laws of Attraction and divine messages.

Written by Dr Wendy Dearborne

February 24, 2016 at 7:47 am

Cancel That: How To Stay Focused On Your Goals.

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One of the biggest challenges I face on a second by second, minute by minute basis is keeping my mind focused on my intention. My intention is what I want to manifest for my life. However, I am painfully aware of the truth in this adage “energy flows where my attention goes.” So, it’s imperative that I stay focused on what I’m wanting to manifest for my life and not the things that have already come and gone. What about you?

As much as I dislike this sport with a passion, I can help making the analogy that we are like a boxer in a never ending bout, being bombarded by multiple stimuli that are hurled at us from all directions. Deflecting head and body shots to keep focused on winning the belt is no easy task. In your daily life you have the barely audible humming of the electric pylons, dotted like centurions, along most major thoroughfares. Their aim in life is to create an unobtrusive, subaudible harmonic hum with everything inside your home that is reliant upon it. PC’s, smart phones, iPads, TV’s, play stations etc. Uppercut.

Let’s be real the bombardment doesn’t stop with the electronics. The shape of your rooms, windows and doors impact how you feel about you and life and how you show up for your life. So too, does the color of the paint on your walls to the color of your clothing you wear. The texture of fabrics, furniture and fixtures all send out a steady stream of influential energetic vibration. And let’s not forget your mattress or your carpet or flooring, all the above release volatile organic compounds (VOCs) into the air you breathe. Plus ever changing fashion trends. Now add to this a double serving of the emotional tripping labeled if I wouldha, shouldha, couldha. What you got it a recipe for a TKO! Is it any wonder we struggle to stay focused?

Staying focused is easier said than done; for the most part. Yet, where there’s a will there’s away. As my Mum would say, “If it’s to be, then it’s up to me.” The ability to focus in on your intentions with rapt attention can be accomplished with the 3C’s:

  • Making a choice
  • Getting clarity around that choice
  • Creating a coping mechanism.

Enter the word from Dr. Maxwell Maltz’s book titled, Psycho-cybernetics, “Cancel.” Hmmm!? Cancel! Hmmm…okay!? What Dr. Maltz is suggesting here is that you use the word “cancel” to stop your runaway thoughts and bring conscious awareness and direction back to what you are wanting. I took his suggestion and added “that” onto the end. I came up with “cancel that” which flows off of my tongue with ease and has upped the percentage of me using it by 100 %. Add your word to cancel like I did, or create your own phrase. It shouldn’t be longer that three words. That being said, as long as it feels right and sounds right to you and it rolls off your tongue, you’ll be more inclined to use it.

So how do we put this all together? Your choice is your intention. Clarity is your attention. Cancel that is your coping mechanism, which is designed to keep you on track, if used correctly. Picture this: You know your intention; you can see with your inner mind you own a successful birdfeed company. Yeah, I know LOL! Birds gotta eat too! Your company is growing, you’re hiring more employees, you’re doing philanthropic work and you are mentoring people with aviaries. But above and beyond this, you are living your life’s purpose. You know where your attention (clarity) must be, because of the steps that you have taken and are taking to manifest your dream.

Stay with me: You had a bad day and the negative chatter starts telling you that your fledgling startup company is tanking in spectacular fashion. OMG! You’ve derailed. It’s at this point that you pull out your “Cancel That” card.  Ba…Ba…BAM!

Literally, you state out loud or inside your head “Cancel That!” Sometimes the chatter will continue. Repeat yourself but be more assertive. Say it like you mean it. Or like someone is taking the last slice of your birthday cake. Now, “CANCEL THAT!”  You may experience what I call a pause or moment of nothingness…silence.  You know, it’s like when someone breaks something and everyone kinda freezes. It’s that kind of sound, feeling and vibe. This is what you are looking for because it signals that you have shut the chatter down.

You’ve cancel that thought, now what? If the ancient philosopher Aristotle is to be believed, “Nature abhors a vacuum.” So that space that you’ve created needs to be filled. This is where the Universe has presented you with an opportunity to take control of how you choose to react to your thoughts.  You can’t stop your thoughts.  But you can control how you react to them by using your coping mechanism.
“Cancel That!”

Fill that space in all its glory with your intention; that’s the manifestation of your successful company. Follow up by sealing this with your attention. To do this, review successful steps already taken and look at new and exciting one that you are going to take.

It’s as simple as that and it works! And for anyone reading my blog thinking this can’t work because…you fill in the blank. I have two words for you,


Written by Dr Wendy Dearborne

February 4, 2016 at 7:39 am

It’s Not My Fault This Happened To Me

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Everything in your life has come to you via choices that you have made. In fact during lectures and talks, when I have stated this fact people have walked out, become downright hostile, hurled angry words at me or burst into tears. All of them in their own way are saying, “that’s not true. I didn’t do anything!” My response to that is simple, “Oh! So you don’t think so?” Here is an interesting short experiment for you to try which will support you in seeing YOUR truth of this fact.

Throughout my life when I would bitch, whine, moan, cry and complain, bitterly about an injustice that I felt had been perpetrated against me, much to my annoyance, my Mum would always ask the same question.  “What did you do!?”  WTF! LOL!  I didn’t actually say that to my Mum, which is why I’m still in once piece today and have most of my teeth.   However, I did ask rather irately,  “What do you mean, what did I do?  It doesn’t matter what I did!  This…what has happen to me is just wrong on all levels.”  My mother would respond, “yes Wendy, that’s how you feel, and rightly so, but, what…did…you…do?” Really!? Like Really!? I’m here to tell you Attractioners, that use to piss me off to no end!  LOL!

It wasn’t until after my near death experience that I truly understood the wisdom of that my mother asking me that question. So for everyone who is offended by my view I’ll just off this, a word to the wise:

“Don’t confuse an outcome with your feelings on what you deserved, with the fact that you made choice that put you where you arrived at, so what happened did indeed happen.  Just so we are all on the same page, I AM NOT condoning, assigning blame, judging, nor casting aspersion.  What is a fact is that “Everything in your life has come to you via choices that you have made.”    It’s a Universal Law that many fail to acknowledge and use and as result they live lives that they don’t want.”

So onto the short experiment:
Take the end of the thread of an event, situation or experience, past or present. Now, start by tracing backwards. Do this by asking yourself, “what was the “last” step I took before what happened, happened?” Note to self: Don’t ask “what was the last thing that happened?” That’s a different question all together which will have you focusing on the situation, rather than your involvement, via the choices you made, in the situation.

A lot of fuzzy stuff will come up, but keep a hold of the thread, keep asking the question and you will eventually get to the choice you made that ultimately created your experience. Now take this true and apply your knowledge to what you are wanting to manifest in your life today.

Still can’t see it, then google the Universal Law of Cause and Effect.  Or Newton’s 3rd law of motion…in fact checkout laws 1 and 2 also.

Find me on:

Facebook group:  The Laws of Attraction:
Blog Talk Radio Show:  My Life My Choice:
Wednesday 1:00pm PST
Green Is 4 Life: A Simple Guide To Creating Green Smoothies Book:

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